The Mixie Pixie: Mixing It Up

New Stuff

2011-09-29T20:51:00.000-07:00

I have not been very chatty online lately but I have been doing plenty of talking to my journals. Here are just a few of the pages. I had a blast using the funky stamp people by Jill Penney and Daniel Torrentes which can be found at Stampotique.com. (To get a good closer look just click on the image)

Home Sweet Home Cover

2011-07-20T21:26:00.001-07:00

Home Sweet Home Cover, originally uploaded by themixiepixie.

Via Flickr:
Come see all the amazing pages....I chose "Home Sweet Home"as my theme for this Ten-participant Altered Book Round Robin (hosted by Sallie Rodman) . I love this image (don't know why) and chose her for this piece because to me she represents the protectiveness I feel as a mother, and many feel about family and home. The text represent how our life story begins with home, the old rustic feel - - the age-old universal idea of home and the rusty heart - the age-old love home holds, the fancy door knob -the magic of entering into the story of the lives behind the door as well as the magic of entering this book and the pages to come.

Dreams Come...

2011-06-30T03:52:00.000-07:00

My entry for Simon Says Stamp Blog Weekly Challenge: "Stamp and show a word". The winner is chosen at random. I have my fingers crossed! Would love to get $50.00 in new stamping stuff! It is fun to do anyway. See details here as well as find links to the other entries: http://simonsaysstampandshow.blogspot.com/2011/06/simon-says-stamp-and-show-word.html

Blissful "Work": Journal Pages and backgrounds

2011-06-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

I spent some happy hours in the sunshine this weekend outside at my local Caribou coffee - painting away, sipping iced coffee, and listening to the birds, with my furry companion laying at my feet. It was so blissful! I came home happy but so very painful. It's the price I must pay, but some days it's worth it. I have been a long-time admirer of Kate Crane of "The Katheryn Wheel" blog, and the amazing journal pages she makes. I just love doing backgrounds (I find it very therapeutic), and I have tried to emulate hers, but just feel something's missing. She's in the U.K. so her classes aren't accessible to me. Fortunately, she just released new dvd's revealing her secrets, and I must have them! I have my fingers crossed that I will be the lucky winner of her giveaway, cuz it will be a while before I can fit it into my disability-income budget. So here is some of my accomplishment: (click on pics to see larger image/details)

This quote is borrowed from Marsha Salyer-Jorgenson of Tumble Fish Studio

A Collage Completed

2011-05-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

This is a collage I recently finished. It is full of symbolic imagery, inspiring quotes, and whimsey. It would be perfect for an office or child's room, or even a family room, and can be arranged in different configurations. It sat partially done for a long time. I felt it needed something more, but I felt stymied. Does that ever happen to you? Then I got these spinner hands for card-making and inspiration hit me. Soon I was adding all kinds of metal embellishments. You can find the spinner on the largest (main) piece, on the compass image. Sometimes that's how I would like to travel. Spin the hands and then set off in that direction! I am pleased with how it worked out. I hope someone will like it well enough to buy it once I upload it to my Etsy shop (along with a bunch of other stuff I need to get pictures of ).

Stampotique Challenge

2011-04-19T00:31:00.000-07:00

Click on image to see larger size

This is my entry to the current "any stamps" challenge on the Stampotique blog, which is to use newspaper or old book pages in a stamped design. See all the entries here: http://stampotiquedesignerschallenge.blogspot.com/2011/04/sdc28-newsprintold-book-pages.html
I just love their stamps, and hope I win the gift certificate, so I can buy some. Then I will be able to enter their "Stampotique stamps only" contests as well. Living on a (tiny) fixed income does not allow for many "nonessentials". This birthday card is made from one of my all time favorite Stampin' Up sets called "Penguin Paradise". I want to do more stamping in my art journals, and I am a follower of The Katherine Wheel blog, where she does a lot of that. In fact, that's how I became aware of Stampotique. I bet you'd find her journal work as inspiring as I do.

MAGIC JACK - DON'T DO IT!!!

2011-04-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I just wasted 45 minutes on "live chat" regarding an account I cancelled a year ago!!!! I used the device less than 48 hours! It sucked BIG TIME" So I cancelled my account, but they failed to tell me that you have to do a separate cancellation of the auto-renew feature. Wouldn't you expect that when you cancel an account all activity related to it would cease? Or if not, they would tell you? But no-o-o-o-o not scammers like this company. They just keep charging you, maybe hoping you won't notice, so that they keep getting money for absolutley NOTHING! But then, if you do happen to catch it, they will give you the stonewalling, runaround kind of crap we have all, sadly, come to expect from "customer service". I just kept "hanging up" and trying back 'til I found someone who could understand English and make sense. That took 4 tries!!! One guy was walking me through the cancellation process, which I did, and then when he saw I had finished it he got all sarcastic on me, asking when I was going to tell him I was done doing it, or was I hoping to surprise him? WHAT!!!!! I told him he's a jerk, and wanted to speak to a supervisor. He said he is the supervisor. So I tried again. I saw warnings all over the internet about this company, and deeply regret I didn't listen. Please learn from my mistake, and save yourself the insanity.

Upheavalous...

2011-03-11T10:56:00.000-08:00

That's a new word I made up yesterday to describe the kind of day I had! I don't know what image I will come up with to represent that on my art journaling calendar, which I am doing for the Art Calendar 2011 challenge on Flickr. Some very talented artists are doing it, and I admire their entries. I aspire to make pages I like as much as I do theirs.

click on pic to see larger image

So, "unpheavalous": it makes me think of my daughter and miss her. She and I used to make up words and mentally put them in Our Family Dictionary of Made-up Words, which existed in our minds. She has a gift for language and enjoys word play, as do I, and so did my parents, especially my father. So does my youngest son. My daughter just seems to "go there" more than he does. I remember dinners with my younger 2 - laughing 'til we had tears, and were trying not to spit out our food. One would play off something another had said, and it would grow from there. What fun! - And talent! I wish my daughter would agree to publish her poetry. It's not just a proud mom who thinks she is gifted. Her high school English teacher wrote on her poetry project "This is the best poetry I have ever seen written by a student - or maybe ever". Ever???!!! -WOW! This is a person who has studied Shakespear, and all "the greats", saying that! I cannot she is one of the greats because I would not know. But it seems she has great potential. We have encouraged her to enter it in poetry contests and magazines, but she just feels too vulnerable and exposed by having it put "out there". I am honored that she even let me see it. Anyway, I wish I had actually kept a list of our words, because my memory has not held on to them. I hope hers has. I hope we will discuss it some day, and I will then add this one to our family dictionary. As for the kind of day it was, life presented some challenges to deal with, and I feel good about how I met them. Some days are just like that, and I no longer get bent out of shape about it as I did when I was younger, thanks to my Higher Power.

Crowabout challenge week 114 submission

2011-03-10T14:06:00.001-08:00

week 114 submission, originally uploaded by themixiepixie.

Thanks so much to Nancy Beaumiller: "Crowabout", for all the weekly fun of this collage playgroup on flickr. I have enjoyed participating for over a year, but never blogged it before. I wonder why? Anyway, now that I discovered the "blog it" action on Flickr I decided, why not?

You can't have her - she's mine!

2011-03-03T16:24:00.001-08:00

Birthday bunny, originally uploaded by themixiepixie.
I bought myself a birthday present online, and I can hardly wait to get it! If you look at the blogs I follow you see one for Sandi Mastroni, and if you hop on over there you will see a bunch of adorable art dolls, including this one, which I bought from her ETSY shop. I have been admiring her work for the longest time -- so original, talented, and adorable! Living on disability, I can seldom manage any discretionary purchases, and am very picky about every cent not spent on absolute necessities. That is how special I think her artwork is. If you want one of her dolls you have to act fast because they fly out of her shop almost as soon as they arrive. But you can't have this one! I "dibbs-ed" it before she even got it into her shop because I saw it on her blog. I am glad I check my blogs-I-follow list every day for new posts or I might have missed out on this one, too! I actually got first pick of the litter, and it was so-o-o-o hard to chose! Aren't they all the adorablest things ever?!

feb 2011

2011-02-27T15:11:00.001-08:00

feb 2011, originally uploaded by themixiepixie.

This is my February 2011 Art Calendar Challenge entry for Feb. I was a late-comer so I do not have one for Jan. I am not sure I want to use the same method for March. It's not harmonious enough for my satisfaction. Or, I may do the same method, but all in black and white, like the journal I did for a while in black and white, as suggested by Teesha Moore. Off to start on it now...

When the Universe Smiles on You...

2011-02-25T16:53:00.000-08:00

Recently I was very sick and even made a trip to the e.r. The day before I went and found out I have "asthmatic bronchitis" I dragged myself out of bed, wishing ever-so-much that I had a manservant to bring me coffee, and poured my own cup, added my lactose free whole milk (in place of cream) and the carton felt like it weighed 5 lbs. I was feeling very sorry for myself, and picked up my spoon to stir it... and cracked up! I just stood there shaking my head, laughing, because look at what I saw:

Honestly! I did not do this!!! I took it as a sign that even tho I was feeling lousy, and life did not endow me with wealth enough for a morning coffee servant, the Universe still loves me anyway!

Guardian of Bygones

2011-02-22T21:49:00.000-08:00

click to see larger image

In some recent blog hopping I came across the Blog "Collage Obsession". Obviously, my kind of place, right! They have a weekly collage challenge, and this is my first time participating. ( -if I figure out the linking process correctly!) I was very inspired by the spooky house image, and I worry if my ideas are original enough. But that's what we do, us artists, isn't it -- we muster up the courage to "put it out there" and find out if we're "any good"? At least I enjoyed the process. That counts for a lot, I think.

On hold ATC:Its S-o-o-o-o Me

2011-02-20T22:02:00.001-08:00

On hold ATC:Its S-o-o-o-o Me, originally uploaded by themixiepixie.

I am so happy that I just joined this group on Flickr: Monthly Themed ATC Swap, where every moNth a list of participants is generated, we make an ATC (Artist Trading Card) with the theme, and then mail it to the person below our own name. This month's theme is : "It's s-o-o-o-o Me". I have been s-o-o-o sick! But I did manage to get my ATC done in time, and in fact, I made 2! I realized that right now in my life, the thing that is most typical of me is to appreciate and spoil my furry companion, Rizzo. It is so like me to see him as a little boy and give him ice cream Yes, I even let him eat off my spoon. I know: "Eeeeeew!" (You may have seen me talk about him before, in older posts. ) First, I couldn't decide which vintage outfit to "dress" him in. (I colored them, and added the tennis shoes to the one.) Then I couldn't decide which background to use. So I made both, I will let my swap partner choose, then I will make the other available for trade. What fun!

Over the slump...

2011-02-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

I am so easy to please, and perhaps too easily pleased with myself (grin). It was so gratifying to get responses to my last couple posts. (Thank you!) It broke me out of my bubble. In my search for connection I came across a new website I hope you will check out called the House of Art, ( link HERE) where artists can talk about art- techniques, frustrations (like artists block, isolation,etc.) and anything else art related. Sounds like a good place for me, right? I think so. I left an introduction, and a post in the forum, and I intend to visit every day for a while, and see how it goes. I am very excited about this idea and give props to the industrious and initiativeous (there, I made up a new word in honor of your efforts!) Emme and Melisse who envisioned it and are running it. Kudos to you!
Also, I finally managed to produce some art, thus ending my dry spell. (click on it to see full size) As it says, part of the reason was the common artist pitfall of putting pressure on myself to come up with something amazing - to be attractive, unique, clever, meaningful, desirable, ...I'm sure you get the picture. In addition to that, I am feeling a strong desire to develop my own distinctive look. I've been suffering from artistic envy. It's fine to admire, but I end up feeling worse about myself. Now that's not good for our creative spark, is it? So, I see other things I like and I emulate because it "speaks to me", but it is just my spin on someone else's idea. I am sure many will recognize the influences on the journal page below. I am pleased with it, even tho it's not my own signature look:

Some images are bits from magazines (I especially like the moldy bread skirt, which seems metaphorically appropriate to me! tee-he) Most of the images and border elements, text, etc. are thanks to Nancy Beaumiller of Crowabout Studio.

And now, since I was up literally all night and all day, it is time to go get some sleep. BTW- I noticed I am more creative late at night, as if my brain's right side (the art side) doesn't function well when my left side is active during the daytime, when I must think about bills, housekeeping, and managing my health. Maybe the next time I am feeling stymied, I should just try staying up late. Of course, there is a price to pay, but I feel it is worth it for my art.

Thanks to Some and Congratulations to Me!

2011-02-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

See this "button"? Congratulate me! That means I learned how to do this simple-for-others-but-not-for-me blogging trick. Thanks to Melisse, and Jill, who left comments for me, and Look In the Nook, who happened to post the most timely blog post. It is almost too coincidental to be a coincidence! That's when I call it a miracle, answer to a prayer, or serendipity. This button takes you to a site where there is a video for Blogger instructions and demonstrations. Now why "Blogger" doesn't call it a "button" on their list of features we can add to our blogs, when everyone else in the blogosphere calls it that, I can only guess. (My guess is, it's run by computer geeks who don't relate to how us non-geeks think -- tee hee). I also was able to figure out how to add the blogs I follow to the side bar, and how to make comments show in a pop-up window, and how to add links to the side bar. WOW! That is a lot to learn in one day! My brain is fried!!! Of course, "the proof is in the pudding" as they say. So here goes: I am about to push the "publish" button, and find out if I really learned it, or if I am just a numpty! < my new fav word- see previous post

Ever heard the word "numpty"?

2011-02-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have gone "down the rabbit hole" as they say, and found whole bunch of fun and inspiring artists' blogs to follow, and have seen tons of fabulous, inspiring art! I am thinking I may like to join the calendar challenge (on Flickr) I read about on a few blogs. I am feeling so energized by what I've seen! The dilemma for me (and I wrote about it at length in my morning pages) is that I feel pulled in a gazillion different directions at once, getting nothing done, and feel a strong need to focus! I am having such a strong desire to have a crafting buddy. Maybe I should run an ad in the local paper!-lol. I just need to talk to other artists. I feel so isolated, and it's making me very unhappy. Being disabled sucks! Fibromyalgia sucks! I highly recommend avoiding it. (tee hee) Of course, the problem with that advice is: we don't know how one gets it. The artist in me needs support! I need to share and be shared with! My higher power willing, it won't be long now. So, in my blog-hopping, I ran across a fun word on a UK blog: Pinkleart, and that word is "NUMPTY". I've never heard it before, but I have a feeling I will be using it. She used it in the phrase "I am such a numpty!" I think it's like numbskull, or cotton-headed-ninny-muggins. Her art was fabulous, but I did not see a comments button, so I couldn't ask permission to show it here. So, I guess I'll have to show something of mine. With Valentines day coming it is appropriate to show some of the Valentines I've made and have on hand:

Trying to Connect

2011-02-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

I am having so much fun running around "blogsville" and meeting new artists, and maybe making new friends through this OWOH (One World One heart) event that I happened upon. (thank you Marcia!) So maybe if you're reading this it's because I commented on your blogsite. I am afraid mine is not as fabulous or inspiring as the ones I've seen out there, and I am not totally up on the etiquette of this event. I am not sure if I am required to host a giveaway. I don't know what I would give, but I can figure out something, b-cuz I have a gazillion art projects I have finished and never knew what to do with, but thought maybe - some day - i will put them in my ETSY shop, which I only just this week started up again, after a couple year's break. So, do leave in my comments whatever you know about this event. I am sad to hear this is probably the last year, when I am only just catching on.
Also, pleeeez, somebody! - tell me where to go or how to find out how to do all the cool things I see on other blogsites, such as how to put things on the side (is that what "buttons are?") like where some blogs have other blogs linked, and their other sites linked, such as etsy shop, etc. I don't have a clue how to do this. I need a class or a tutor!!! I hate trying to figure this technical stuff out on my own, It often leaves me in tears! Honestly, I think I'd rather "make love" with a cheese grater than try to figure it out by myself!!! Maybe I need a visit from the "Good Blogger Fairy" ! (Please, God, tell me there is such a thing!")
One of the reasons I chose this town to live in is that I heard there is such a good "arts community" here. Well, if there is, they hide out very well, and have managed to be quite exclusive (as in, excluding me!). It is the deepest desire of my heart to connect with at least one other artist friend- to talk about this stuff with, to talk about art and life with, to be motivated by, and motivating to. It is why I have participated in swaps up the wazoo, and round-robins, etc. But after 2 years, I haven't figured out how to find anyone who isn't just plain too busy to connect. I get it that these things can't be forced, and need to "just happen" and for that to take place one needs to keep reaching out. But really, two years???!!! So I am thinking it might be as simple as it was in first grade, and I am asking you who are reading this: do you wanna be my friend? (:

Happy Twenty-lemon

2011-02-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

That's what I am calling this year. It's easier than enunciating "twenty-eleven", and it seems like a good year to "make lemonade", if you get my drift. I made another one of my ATC's(see below), and have several more on my work table about half done. I put them on hold over the holidays but plan on getting back to them soon. I have been inspired to work on stamping some greeting cards, and will post some of those pictures later (they're still stuck in the camera).

Wishing

Love Post ATC

Ruminating elf

When started writing this post the picture downloader was not working right. I am back trying it again so I can move on to my newest thoughts. I feel so far behind, and sad about that.

This is so fun to do! More ATC's with glazes.

2010-11-12T16:52:00.000-08:00

I wrote about this technique on my Oct 3rd entry. Here are several more done since then along with their foundation images, and the kinds of supplies I used. Click on the pictures to enlarge.

2 journal pages, 2 atcs

2010-10-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

I get such a kick out of Brian Andreas, and I can relate so much to his "Story People". Well, who doesn't? That's why he's so popular. If you aren't familiar with him I hope you will treat yourself, and look him up.

I had fun doing a couple different ones with this image I concocted. I've gotten lots of positive reactions. That's gratifying!

This is 2 views of 1 atc, to show how the necklace dangles. It's in the same technique and style as in my last entry. I put many hours of painting into this to get it "perfect"! I really do enjoy watching these characters emerge.

Another Brain Andreas quote Journal page.

I like the results. And here's how I do it. (a technique lesson)

2010-10-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

I have recently renewed my work with this technique, which is a variation on one that Misty Mawn presented in a magazine about 5 years ago. I am enjoying the results, and I have gotten very positive feedback on some of the older work that I recently posted on my Flickr site. Here's how I do it: Start out with a sturdy substrate like a strong paper or better, like a heavy watercolor paper. This is a plastic coated playing card. First, a coat of gesso. I like to randomly paint on texture medium, or, as on this one, glue on tissue paper and wrinkle it up slightly. Then stamp or glue on a picture of a face.The picture I used for this one is below. If using a magazine picture it is best to copy it unless you don't mind how fragile it is. As you can see, the final product barely resembles the beginning image anyway, but it is a good jumping of point. You can see I added color, re-oriented the shadows, and eyes. For the body area I added several more strips of tissue paper. A bit turned over and caught, which fortuitously formed the collar of the blouse. That's part of the fun of this technique- watching what shows up of its own accord in the textures. I use a lot of glazes along with acrylic paints- nothing fancy or expensive, just the bottled craft acrylics. I am using the last of the bottled glaze paints on the planet (I think) But I am prepared to mix my own when these run out. I hope others try this and show me their results. Have fun!

Where's the Whimsey?

2010-09-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

I have realized something. I keep finding myself attracted to whimsey- in art, in decorating, in the kinds of things one chooses for one's self. I just can't seem to put it into my own art! It is frustrating the living daylights out of me!!! I admire very colorful art, yet mine is soft, muted colors. I like strong shapes, yet mine are soft and flowy. I think this means something. So I am on a quest for my inner whimsicality (did I just make that word up?). I think it is hard to find for a couple reasons: 1) I was born with a serious nature (but that doesn't mean I don't have a playful side) 2) My playful, immaginative side was squelched, squished, and squashed so badly when I was young, that it has been terrified to peek out other than vicariously. I still appreciate the artistic and creative gifts that I do have, and I say that because a part of me wants to undervalue them just because they're not what I want at the moment. As I have learned from so many on my journey, I must appreciate what I do have if I want to have more. Which reminds me, I have slipped in my gratitude practice these days, as well, and I always feel happier when I pay attention to that. I have had so many health challenges lately, along with mechanical issues of various types, I seem to have gotten away from a lot of conscious living. Well of course you have, Julia! You've been asleep for days! AND that's okay. It's good, even! You are taking care of yourself. I guess the urge I am feeling to move on is a sign I am feeling better! Hurrah! I am a so-o-o-o much happier person than I used to be, and I am so grateful for the many various influences that have helped me get that way, mostly Alanon and self-help books. (I've read almost every one ever written, haven't I.) and I am grateful to my self for having the moxie to pursue recovery, and infinitely grateful for the grace of God. I don't know why I got so "lucky" when the rest of my family still suffers. Now I need to find a book on how to proceed on this quest for inner whimsey. I love the internet and search engines.....

My Package Arrived!

2010-09-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was thrilled to get my new collage from Tumblefish Studio. Here it is (of course, mine doesn't have a watermark on it):

I am so happy to have this. It's a collage, and the very first original piece of art I have ever owned (besides the masterpieces my children and I have made over the years). I immediately booted a portrait of my kids from a frame and replaced it with my new treasure (sorry kids). Every time I look at it, it makes me smile. ( :

The package was well protected, and inside it was wrapped with tissue and a ribbon. It was like opening a gift, which it was- a gift to myself, from me, to me, with deepest love and affection- lol.

As if that wasn't enough, Marcia also gave me an unexpected gift! A free print of one of her other wonderful artworks. You should go over to her Etsy shop and see her fabulous artwork: http://www.etsy.com/shop/tumblefishstudio?ref=seller_info

Two Journal pages from my new class

2010-09-16T01:01:00.000-07:00

I just started the Journal Junkin online class being taught by Nancy Beaumiller (a.k.a." Crowabout" ) and I am having a ball. These are the "silly monster" exercise/assignment. I could do a million of these-lol!

Besides these 2 pages I have 2 others started, in a different style. I am almost finished and will get them posted soon.

The Flight Instructor

2010-09-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

"The Flight Instructor" That's the name of the Original artwork I just bought from TumbleFish Studio ( Marcia Salyer Jorgensen). I first saw it on her blog and fell in love with it. It's not her most colorful piece, but I love the look of the faces, and I think it is so clever. ( I am a big fan of cleverness-teehee.) I was looking in her ETSY store at all the available prints of her fabulous collages and agonizing over which one to get, but especially hoping to find a print of this one, and "lo-and-behold!" there it was- the original! I was so excited my hand was shaking as I checked my bank account to make sure I could afford it. Yes! I couldn't hit the purchase button fast enough- before someone else beat me to it- lol! I am so happy and excited, and looking forward to getting it, and hanging it in my place. Woo-hoo!

I actually like some of my recent artwork

2010-09-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

Most often when I make art I am not satisfied with the final results. There's usually something that didn't end up capturing whatever I was going for. I am proud to post a few new works that actually feel right. It gives me that tickle in the tummy, and a sort of sense of wonder as in, "Did that actually come from me?" (I feel that way every time I look at it later, too.) I suspect it is much like the way an athlete feels when they reach a new level of success or break a previous personal barrier. You don't have to win a gold medal to feel good about those kinds of accomplishments. So here they are:

This is an ATC I did for a "lottery" with my ARTchix Playgroup on Flickr. The theme was "Mary", and I made up the limmerick easily, out of the blue, more as if it was given to me. I like to think my muse was my father, who shared an appreciation for limmericks when I was a child. The image is from ARTchix Studio, I stamped the background, and added an elegantly understated touch of glitter. ( It looks better in real life than the 'puter image.)

Also, FYI, you can click on any image to get a look at a larger size/ more detail.

This is a 2 page journal spread that I like.

and here is another from a larger journal that had to be scanned separately:

Watermelon Relish

2010-08-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

Savoring juicy tastes of
watermelon pickle,
The recipe by felicity.
"Don't eat that!" Alice cries.
"It will suck you down a dark hole
to a place where nothing is real!
And it's bad for your heart"
Too late. I already swallowed.
The bittersweet taste lingers,
and my summer that maybe never was
Really is.

The sunlight is golden and makes eight shadows.
It's down to the longest girl and boy.
When we run out of seeds there is always spit.
But I lack the space they have between my front teeth.
I have no trajectory.
I lose- against the walk, the wind, the others.
I don't mind that I never win,
I adore the contest anyway.
The sun really is warm, the laughter is real.

The lavender snow is real, too,
Where survivors of Suicide Hill trudge on,
  Dragging the vehicles of demise behind us,
  Followed by periwinkle shadows.
The Milky sunlight fades away,
And lights blink on behind frosted curtains,
lining the pathway home.
Brave heros recount feats of skill and danger,
Taking on swingsets, treestumps, and high jump-bumps,
Unaware of pospsicle toes and frozen stiff snowsuit armor,
Soon to be peeled away and hung in the dungeon,
to become limp dripping vestiges of the day,
While up above, we sit in a circle on one another's toes
to warm away the stinging, burning, cold. No regrets,
My heart is warm and full with the commeraderie.

The treks we make to outer space together are just as real,
Lost in Space together while the glow of the televison
Flickers across familiar features of eight faces.
I see only seven.
We share countless adventure trips,
   Some through the looking glass.
I tell them, "Look, now everything is backward!"
"It looks the same to me." they say.
"That's because you're backward, too!"
"Oh I get it." They say
Logic is backward here, too.
The crunch of gravel warns it is time to rush back
to the real world
Through the portal we left in,
before Mom catches us in her bedroom closet
Behind her bedroom mirror.

My heart swells and constricts with nostalgia,
My bites of Watermelon Pickle turn to relish.

A Poem I recently wrote, inspired by the poem "Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle Received from a Friend Called Felicity, which I fell in love with in 7th grade, and based on my childhood memories.

Been a while, hasn't it?

2010-08-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a while cuz I been putting my words onto journal pages which I have recently posted on Flickr. How do people who are moms, and work full time also find time to do art and keep up a blog? I know I have a disability disadvantage, but it seems to me that gives me an advantage. I am going to try harder to keep up with my art and blogging at the same time. I don't know why it should matter, cuz hey, who cares if I do or don't, or if I spend all day watching tv and eating bon bons. Well, I guess I do. It's a self-esteem thing I suppose. I have to mention and give myself credit for, the fact that lots of other stuff has been happening. First I had multiple computer problems. Immediately after those were resolved my car broke down at the side of the rode. That was a huge debacle in itself. My friend was actually doing the driving, and clearly there was something wrong. Every light on the dashboard was on, it had just quit making the horrible belt squealing noise it had started doing, and the power steering went out. Most alarming, though, was that the temp gage was high and rising rapidly. I told my friend we needed to pull over so we don't blow my engine. She refused!!! Who does that???!!! She argued about it, I argued back, as I was helplessly watching the needle reach the top of the zone right before the red line. When it did reach the red line I finally dropped my politeness and yelled "You have to pull over now before you blow my engine!" By then, she had turned down a side street that was lined with cars and had nowhere to stop. She got mad and yelled in my face that she can't pull over now, and when she finally did, she yelled at me, "You think you know everything about cars!" and stormed off, leaving me to deal with the smoke billowing out from under the hood, and coolant boiling out all over the place. Need I say, we're not friends anymore? She sees nothing wrong with what she did and showed up at my door insisting I apologize for yelling at her, and that she did nothing wrong!!!! I told her I was too upset to discuss it, and she needed to leave, but she refused! Now, who does that?! I told her repetedly to leave me alone, and when I tried to shut my door, she pushed it back open! Obviously, she has serious boundary issues. I have been trying to get the car fixed, and it's been hell wating and wondering. It's been 2 weeks now, and I finally found someone reliable to show up, tow it, and tomorrow fix it. I already bought the parts over a week ago. I've been sick with worry that the city would tow it first. Mechanics aren't the most reliable guys, in my experience. Anyway, if they fix the tensioner and belt tomorrow as they said they will, then I will next find out if my (ex)friend blew my engine by overheating it so badly. All this waiting, tension, and drama, has been so stressful that I seem to have shut down, and become too depressed to function beyond the most basic life demands. But I am trying to pull out of it. I will be glad to have the waiting over with, and I am praying so hard that my engine isn't blown. Living on SSI Disabilty means it is unlikely I will be able to afford to fix it. The timing of all this is phenominally bad, considering I was planning on putting the car up for sale the next day. On the bright side, I was going to drive it up to St. Paul for my son to sell on my behalf (saving me from getting in the car with strangers for a test drive, never to be heard from again!), and I am glad the breakdown didn't happen on the way there. So next I will post some of those journal pages I mentioned.

Ta'daaaa! The Sixth One is Done!

2010-04-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

I completed my set of six postcards for the ARTchix swap. Now I cross my fingers and hope I win, cuz I would luv 2 have the $100.00 worth of product from the ARTchix store. Now, onto the ATC for the biweekly lottery challenge: "Pick 3"

One more done, One to go

2010-04-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

Here is the 5th of six post cards for the ARTchix swap. It doesn't look as pretty as in real life because the gold ink didn't scan very well. Whew! it feels like it was a big assignment. I am also working on my page for the Love collaborative book project, which I hope to have done soon. AND I have the ATC for the Pick 3 Colors ARTchix biweekly lottery challenge to do. Why am I having such a hard time with that one? I think it's because I don't have a favorite 3-color-combo (that I am aware of) and there are so many possibilities out there in terms of classic combos that I do like, such as the primaries -Red, yellow, blue (and beautiful variations thereof) or black, white, and red, or tan, or gold.... Purple keeps jumping into my mind, with gold. But I can't think of a 3rd color I like, though there's always white or black. I am not a Vikings fan. I am a fan of purple. But even with the colors in mind, no particular idea has come to mind for the imagery. Well, I will have to give that some more thought. I will have to go through my ARTchix product sheets and see what jumps out at me, or inspires me. The new ones Helga just added toher shop are intriguing. Hmmm, aybe I'll go do some shopping..... Later Gator! ~~~z---z --"<

Postcard Swap

2010-04-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

These are 4 finished postcards (2 more to come) for a swap I'm participating in. Each one has elements from 3 ARTchix Studio collage sheets: Green World, Pink World, and Share Happiness Create Art. At the end of the swap I will have 6 cards all from different artists, and 6 other artists will have 1 from me. I have looked around the group's various sites and there are a lot of awesome looking cards out there. I hope mine live up to group standards! Recently I won the Biweekly ATC lottery and received about 21 (I lost count) beautiful, wonderful, fabulous ATC's in the mail. Not only that, but everyone was so generous to include lots of sweet little freebies for future ATC making. This event happened right before my birthday, so I like to think wining that lottery was the universe's way of saying "Happy Birthday, Mixie!" If you need further proof of that, then consider this: it was my very first time entering the lottery! Now that is "lucky". I call it blessed.

2010-03-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

I did this sketch from a photo on Susan Tuttle's blog. I own (and absolutely LOVE) her book: Exhibition 36. I found the expression on the beautiful child's face to be so compelling, I had to grab my sketchbook and try to capture the essence of that expression. I am not the best judge of my own work, so I ask for your honest opinion, dear reader. I am not unhappy with the sketch in a general way, but I am not sure it succeeds in capturing the subtleties of her expression: the slight stubborn set of the lower lip, the challenging lift of her brow. So, check out the photo and then come back and tell me, please. Thanks! (for a better look click on the image.) Also, check out 3 new ATCs (also on my Flickr site- the Mixie Pixie)

http://www.ilkasattic.blogspot.com/

Here's one more

2010-02-25T11:42:00.001-08:00

I'm really into doing ATC's lately, and here's another one. I've already gotten requests to swap it! (on Flickr)

Spring Is In My Brain

2010-02-24T02:12:00.000-08:00

I have been making Spring themed ATC's (artist trading cards-made in starndard playing card size 2 1/2" X 3 1/2") though it's about as dead-cold-of-winter as it gets. I wish I were in Arizon with my friend, or going there at the end of March with my other friend, or best of all, in Albuquerque. Still, the longer daylight hours have buoyed my spirit. I have really ejoyed making several trades lately, and the second card here (Spring Fever) is for an ArthChix lottery swap- winner takes all, meaning, there's a chance I could end up with all of them. Based on the few previous swaps I looked at, that would be awesome, every card was worth having, and many were amazing little masterpieces of creativity. It would also buoy my spirits to get mail day after day as the cards all trickle in. I almost hate to see my babies go. So here are the 2 new cuties:

Happy Pink (valentines) Saturday!

2010-02-13T09:40:00.000-08:00

I am late getting this posted so I will be quick here. These are my pink valentine creations, which I did not get into the mail on time, despite my good intentions. I hate how my condition gets in the way. But if not that then I suppose it would be a job, or (in the best of worlds) shopping.
Don't forget to stop by Bev's Pink Saturday event at ( http://howsweetthesound.typepad.com/ ) who graciously hosts our pink Saturdays.

Happy Pink Saturday: Four Scores at the Thrift Store!

2010-01-30T01:31:00.000-08:00

Thanks for stopping by. Be sure to leave a comment because I read on Bev's blog, ( http://howsweetthesound.typepad.com/ ) who graciously hosts our pink Saturday's, that there will be a $1 donation made for every comment left on a pink Saturday participant's blog. Last Pink Saturday I saw some wonderful vintage linens at http://sissieshabbycottage.blogspot.com/. which inspired me to look for some at our local thrift store, and I cannot believe the great finds I scored. I found baskets and boxes full of vintage linens. I wish I could have afforded them all! The hankies, only $1ea, pillowcases a mere $1.50. I took the pink ones, of course.(Okay, 1 has more blue, but I got it for the pink in it.) I felt guilty paying so little for the pillowcases because it's obvious someone spent many hours handmaking every stitch of lace and embroidery perfectly. It seems such ability and patience is little appreciated these days. So, in honor of those bygone ladies and times, here they are:

It's so wonderful you must see this! Everyone needs to see this!!!

2010-01-20T22:59:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3zJm98UXzQ

Warning! Cute pooch story ahead!

2010-01-17T17:30:00.000-08:00

I love scouring the after-any-holiday clearance sales for super cheap deals on art-potential stuff, and stuffed toys for my dog, my ever-faithful little Peke-a-poo companion, Rizzo. It's like giving a present to a 4 year old- they aren't picky about what it is; they are joyful for anything new from you. But this one was better than all the rest. I don't know if it's the funky stripes, or the buggy eyes, but this one became his favorite immediately. Normally, it takes some time to grow on him. Well, that tickled me. But then, when I got up the next morning for my normal routine: turn on computer, then to the bathroom, coffee-maker, and back to the bedroom to sip my motion-potion and check the news online, this is what I saw- on MY side of the bed, no less!

And he was NOT about to move. I took several flash shots and he didn't raise a brow, much less his head. The pictures are almost identical-lol! I can't help but wonder what he wanted to do with the remote. Or maybe he just wanted it because he thinks it's my favorite toy. I din't have the heart to make him move. Would you?

Pink Saturday Pink stuff

2010-01-12T22:08:00.000-08:00

I adore my groovy new PINK art cases. They are actually cosmetic cases that work great for my art journaling supplies. Many kinds of holders and see-thru pockets to keep things handy, in view, yet separated by type: markers, gel pens,oil pastels, etc... And so portable! Just grab and go- to my favorite coffee shop or scenic overlook, to enjoy my creative impulses away from this claustrophobic little apartment. Best part is- about $3.00 at Target on clearance. I love a good bargain in pink! Visit other Pink Saturday participants by visiting http://howsweetthesound.typepad.com/ for links to the wonderful, interesting Pink lovers out there.

MixiePixie Makeover

2010-01-09T21:08:00.001-08:00

As you can see, the Mixie Pixie has a new look! I have been neglecting all my other artistic eneavors for this project, and have fallen behind on my blogging. I am happy with my main elements: my new outfit, lettering, and my Nodding Moon Studio sign, but I do see how it gets lost in all the other framing alements. Probably in a while I will make some changes in that area. There are lots of free blog design websites around, and I do thank them for beautifying the internet. But the point now is, I am back to the keyboard. Bye for now. See you again soon.

Two Santa collages

2009-12-22T04:25:00.000-08:00

I gotta get to bed. It's 6 a.m., and I have been obsessed with finishing these 2 collages. They were lots of work! and totally worth it for the feeling of joy and satisfaction I have. It's one of those rare times when I love the results, and I look at them and think, "Wow, I can't believe that came out of me!" So I am posting this, and saying good night, or morning,or whatever....

Jinglhouse rock

2009-12-12T17:06:00.000-08:00

This is a collage I enjoyed making for the Crowabout group I am priveleged to belong to. The elements belong to the moderator for the group only. No copying please.

Some silliness and some seriousness

2009-12-02T04:06:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying the connection I have found with other artists in the Crowabout Collage play group. I wish I knew how to add their "button" on my blog, but I am not that advanced. (If you read this please leave directions in comments, if you know how to do this.) But I can upload my recent digital collage done with elements provided by our esteemed moderator, Nancy Beaumiller, who generously provides her time and materials to this endeavor. So here it is:

I know it's silly, and the pun is just too easy, but I was inspired by various elements on the collage sheets and I just couldn't stop myself. I did have fun.

But I am not all foolishness and nonsense these days. I am feeling the holiday spirit coming on, and I have always enjoyed this time so much. But I am really feeling the empty nest syndrome this year. Last year I was distracted from it by living in a hotel and helping the community deal with a nearby apartment fire that left hundreds homeless and without Christmas gifts. I cannot count on another fire to rescue me this year, so I am choosing to face it. That means a lot of tears. Some are sad tears. I am just plain missing motherhood, and the joy of making this season bright and joyful for my kids. Even if they were here, it of course, would not be the same. It never will be again. That is as it must be. And I am sad, as I must be. There are also tears of tender joy for beautiful memories of times past, that I do savor, and I hope my children do, too. I think I feel an emptiness about the old traditions that don't mean anything without them to share it with, such as putting up a big tree covered with brightly colored ornaments collected over the years. We would talk about our memories of the various ones, and our favorites, etc. Each child had his or her own ornaments that only they were allowed to put on the tree. Those have now been relegated to the adult owners, whom I hope carry on in the same way. I am working on figuring out ways of celebrating that will be meaningful for me by myself. I am open to suggestions in comments, too. I know I am a cliche', as all the mothers in history have had this same issue to deal with (except those who lost their's too soon, and my heart goes out to them). It is such a bittersweet thing, these memories of Christmas Past. I cherish them for a little time, and then I move on....

Giving thanks this Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T22:58:00.000-08:00

I have been doing several different journals, so I wonder if it is crazy to think about starting another one. The thing is, I really belive in the power of giving thanks to lift us up, and a gratitude journal would help solidify it, you know? I mean, a prayer is evanescent, a journal is lasting. ( I wish I could show you the ASL sign for evanescent/evanescence. It expresses the concept beautifully!) I have so much to be thankful for! I give thanks every day for my adorable comapanion, Rizzo, and for my apartment. I was homeless at this time last year. I am thankful for my children, though I'm sad I won't be seeing them for thanksgiving this year. I am also very thankful for my new art friends, both virtual, and physical. So this would be a good time to show off my Thanksgiving digital collage from my new Collage play group:

I have been tickled by the response I got from the group. They got the humor of it, which I was worried about. They seem like a very fun and talented group of people. I think I will enjoy it as well as learn a lot.

My neighbor, Cyndi, has been playing stamping with me a lot lately, until she had her knee replacement surgery 10 days ago. I have enjoyed meeting her family, too, and I am grateful I am invited to spend Thanksgiving with them. They rented the community room here, so I can easily come home if I am not feeling well. See my blog "the Sickie Pixie" for more about that (fibromyalgia,etc.) Oh, that reminds me, I am also grateful for the new chiropractor I have started seeing who is also a knesiologist. He is very good, and I believe he will help me a lot. I could go on and on. (I might need to join On and On Anonymous-lol) but I'll save it

Inspired blogs

2009-11-16T15:30:00.000-08:00

I have found links one-blog-to-another for very inspiring, encouraging, uplifting stuff that my soul is hungry for. They speak what I already know, but I need to know that others know, too. Here is one example:

"Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.

What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale. "

- Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D

Author of the best seller Women Who Run with the Wolves

http://www.wanttoknow.info/youweremadeforthis

I would add to that the quote, "All it takes for evil to thrive is for good [people] to do nothing."

And this site has free online personal growth courses: http://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/
Coo, huh?
Check them out and then click on the links they have that sound interesting to you.

Elf obsession

2009-11-15T12:21:00.000-08:00

I just love taking cute vintage photo people and dressing them as elves for my original design Christmas cards. So when I saw these 3 boys as a freebie on Terri Kahrs' blog http://pringlehill-terri.blogspot.com/ I couldn't wait to "elvify" them. Thanks Terri! (You should visit her site. Tons of cool art and cute/fun freebies) The boys outfits and expressions are so perfect for this. So here is the result, plus a few more examples. The 2nd one is from a childhood pic of my brother and me. He was in just his underwear; I added the vest and shorts, plus boots (from a c-free Puss In Boots story). I was holding a volleyball which translated perfectly into an ornament. I wish I could be there to see his face when he opens his card from me. (click on an image to see it larger)

2009-10-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

I am so-o-o-o jealous! The Art and Soul retreat just ended and I didn't get to go again this year! I want to go so badly I almost spent my car money on that instead. But really, I must get a car. My "sentence" to live here in Red Wing, Mn, is almost up. My one year lease is done Dec 31. I have applied to Osseo Gardens assisted living. (and I meant to call them today, but didn't. There's always tomorrow, right?) Anyway, I Google-mapped them just now, and checked out the distance to the nearest Barnes and Noble, and I am PSYCHED! It is 4.4 miles away! I can return to a lifestyle of sitting and sipping latte, while reading, sketching, and perusing the latest art mags.(while hyped up on my pain meds, and barely able to move.) I am praying for this to work out, and can hardly wait to start packing!

After all that works out I will start saving for the hope that I can go to Art and Soul next year, It will be in Las Vegas: cheap airfare, expensive hote, plus kenneling my pooch. Meanwhile, I have been inspired by some of the art samples I saw for A&S classes, and I have been working on my own stuff.

A time to mourn

2009-09-22T01:12:00.000-07:00

It does not seem like a whole year ago when I sold my home and bought the (cursed) RV. Then there was 3 months of homelessness, living one day at a time between wherever I could find a place, even at the roadside for 5 days in the broken down RV, until I found a solution and got it moved, and even driving around all night to keep me and Rizzo warm (my dog - see earlier post for adorable pics). There was the insanity-making dealings with the management here, who told me in July it would be about 6 weeks to get an apt., and 6 months later they were still stringing me along, lying and talking nonsense. (That still goes on now that I am moved in.) AND it sure as hell does not feel like a year and a half since my son went to live with his dad in Al. Yet it feels like 3 years since I last saw him. But the pain of him leaving and the consequences to me are as fresh as if it was only 2-3 months ago. I have been too busy trying to survive to have time to process the sense of loss, the grief. I just read a blog (Misty Mawn) where this mom mentioned she is still adjusting to her child being gone to school during the day, and the tears started streaming down my face. I thought "You think that's bad, wait until you have to adjust to your last child being gone forever!" Now I am crying too hard to type anymore, so good night.

It Spoke to Me Since Third Grade

2009-09-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

I know now that I had the heart of an artist since birth. So a little time back I remembered the snippet of a poem I read in third grade that haunted me every autumn, trying to remember, "How did that go? Something like: "There's something in autumn wind that sets gypsy blood astir." So I decided to try and find it by putting a couple words at a time in the search engine, and after many tries (I was on a mission and not about to give up) I finally found it!!! My memory was pretty close. And it still speaks to my soul as it did then. Here it is then, one of the lesser known poems, but my favorite, of one of my all time favorite poets, Bliss Carman, of Canada. His other stuff is wonderful, too.

A VAGABOND SONG

THERE is something in the autumn that is native to my blood—
Touch of manner, hint of mood;
And my heart is like a rhyme,
With the yellow and the purple and the crimson keeping time.

The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry.
Of bugles going by.
And my lonely spirit thrills
To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills.

There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir;
We must rise and follow her,
When from every hill of flame
She calls and calls each vagabond by name.

Beach Angel

2009-09-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

Here she is! - the "beach angel" that was made especially for me by artist Dorothe in Denmark, from driftwood on the beach near her home, and sent across the seas to reside with me here in Minnesota, USA. You should check out her website for lots of other great art dolls, atc's etc. http://denlillelade.blogspot.com/

New ATCs

2009-09-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

Despite a lot of pain and lack of function yesterday, I did manage to make a few new ATCs that I am rather pleased with:

Also, I recieved my "beach angel" in the mail today from Denmark. She is beautiful! Made from driftwood, it is my first commissioned art piece-- that I commissioned. (The first one I was commissiones for was as a senior in high school-pencil portraits of 2 kids ) I will post the pic tomorrow, as I am not up to doing the "camera thing". Maybe I will be after the codeine kicks in.

The Pink fairy is feeling Halloween

2009-08-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

The weather here is VERY "fallish" and it has put the pink fairy in the mood to start thinking about Halloween. It's important to get an early start if she's going to make a difference this year!

Enjoy your Pink Saturday! Visit the list at Beverly's http://howsweetthesound.typepad.com/my_weblog/

Happy Pink Saturday journal pages

2009-08-22T02:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks for looking at my pink stuff! I did these pages this week, although I had laid the pink base for them a long time ago. I was a little bit influenced by a website I found last week, visiting other Pink Sat. sites. If you're like me, one thing (blog) leads to another. I enjoy ambling around the internet exploring wherever whim takes me. So somehow I ended up at this fantastic site: teeshamoore.com . You'll thank yourself for checking it out. I am sure I have seen her stuff in magazines and/or books before. I am blown away by her site. My thanks to the Pink Sat. Artist who linked me there, whoever you are.

P.S. You can click on each image to see it enlarged and read it better.

2009-08-15T14:23:00.001-07:00

This is my darling faithful companion, Rizzo. And here he is all snuggled up with Pinkie, the bunny who shares our bed. ( There is also a white teddy bear with pink paws). He's a peke-a-poo. My kids have all grown up and moved out. He is still with me and will be until the end. I cannot imagine life without him. I had to take a picture, it was just so darn cute of him, and he was so sound asleep he didn't wake when the flash went off-- several times! When he is awake he loves being photographed. So I am throwing in a shot of his adorable face, too.

2009-08-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

I have finally gotten my printer/scanner working. Actually, it turns out it always was. The problem was operator error-lol. So I have gotten down to the tedious business of downloading (or is it uploading? I can never remember which is which) my journal/sketchbook pages, and my ATCs. So here are a few, just for a taste.

Pink Saturday Puppy Love- oops I'm late! Sorry!

2009-08-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

This is my darling faithful companion, Rizzo. And here he is all snuggled up with Pinkie, the bunny who shares our bed. ( There is also a white teddy bear with pink paws). He's a peke-a-poo. My kids have all grown up and moved out. He is still with me and will be until the end. I cannot imagine life without him. I had to take a picture, it was just so darn cute of him, and he was so sound asleep he didn't wake when the flash went off-- several times! When he is awake he loves being photographed. So I am throwing in a shot of his adorable face, too.

2009-08-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

Here's my pink Saturday for Aug 8th. It is a vintage lamp I found at a thrift store and refurbished. I love it! and my bunny lady goes perfectly next to it, don't you think?

Pink Saturday: Pink Pixie

2009-07-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

How wonderful those "clip art" clips are, Beverly. I want some, too! Here is my next Pink Saturday post, finally sent with plenty of notice, since I was remiss last week, and didn't get it in on time. It is a digital ATC I did with some tidbits I got on Artella.

2009-07-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, I was pretty upset when I wrote that last post! I have calmed down considerably, although my opinion of government, at least in Dakota County, MN, has not changed. I have come to accept my powerlessness, and feel grateful I am no longer there, and hopeful it was the last of my dealings with them. I don't want to go into what happened yet. There is just too much, and I am not ready to revisit those strong emotions. Suffice it to say, it was so bad, wrong, damaging, and pervasive, that it caused me to develop PTSD-complex type. And it caused me to leave my home of 12 years, and the place where I raised my 2 youngest. I really struggle against feeling like a victim, but I just can't seem to help it. More fodder for the therapist's couch I guess. Now, onto happier things...

Government SUCKS!

2009-07-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I know we need government. But this society has so deteriorated that anywhere you go in government it's corrupt - from the top to bottom. Everyone I have dealt with in any government position is 1) lazy- and will do as little as they can get away with, and 2) is on a power trip and will misuse their position in any way they can just to feel their sense of power. Now I have been in recovery plenty long enough to understand what that's all about, and I have opted for a more enlightened way of being. But I am disabled and therefore stuck in "the system" in a huge way, and there is no getting out of it, and I just can't stand living in it and getting screwed six ways 'til Sunday. Maybe I'll move to New Zealand. I have seriously contemplated suicide. It is still not out of the questioin. I have clung to my faith through everything so far and now I can barely hang on by a thread. I do not have a sense that my higher power is present or gives a shit about me. If you have faith then please pray for me.

Pink Saturday: Petunia at the Party

2009-07-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

This is my first entry for Pink Saturday participation. What a fun idea! More and more lately I am "getting into" the color pink, and have been adding it to my decorating. Too bad I am not allowed to paint the walls of my apartment. I would do a very pinky shade of beige called "day at the beach". Very tasteful. But there's nothing wrong with doing a blazing shade of pink for those who have the courage. Go-o-o-o PINK!

P.S Thank you to Billizetti (of Artellaland) for introducing me to pink Saturday

Mixed Media Monday "Tin Man ATC doll"

2009-07-05T22:18:00.000-07:00

This is my entry to the Mixed Media Monday doll challenge. I love this challenge! There are so many creative possibilities, and I was trying to think of what to make when I realized the song "Tin Man" was stuck in my head, so I went with it. I had saved the top from a travel size dental floss container because it looked like a face to me. It was the perfect size for my project. A little paint on some bendy straws made great arms. It was fun rummaging around in all my metal bits. The cardstock was a metal print design, the gear "innards" are a varitey of stamped , punched, watch parts, brads, and metal washers. It is hard to get a good photo of it, but can you see that inside his heart locket is an image of Dorothy and one of Toto? All the parts fold in to a form a standard size ATC!

The story that told itself

2009-06-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

This Mixed Media Monday challenge gave me the motivation to complete a tryptic I started some time ago. It started as an assignment, but my muse seemed to have her own ideas, and took off in a different direction. I just went along for the (joy) ride. When I realized I was so far off track that it no longer met the requirement I abandoned it, almost finished. Even though no story was required for that assignment, a story did unfold as the piece formed, as if the storyinsisted on being told. And just for added fun, each panel has an interactive part!

Panel 1) We see a hand reaching for a beautiful golden pear (with real gold leafing!) but unable to grasp it, and we see a bird in the tree. By the look on his face and the throbbing heart we can tell he has fallen in love. [The interactive feature is the castle gate, which opens/closes]

Panel 2) See the bird looking in the window at the object of his desire? He can see that the princess has a plate of luscious fruit, but is pining for the pear on the tree outside her window. Notice her dinner guest! [The window opens on hinges]

Panel 3) Now the bird is bringing the pear

to the princess, whom appears in the distant window. But how can he lift the relatively heavy fruit? If you turn the hurdy-gurdy crank you will hear the tune "Wind Beneath My Wings"!

More art stuff

2009-06-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more of my art products, and I am trying to learn how to add text with the images, then next I will try to add a description to one with a link. Fingers crossed, here goes....

pictures of a few of my art products

2009-06-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

2009-06-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote a detailed account of dealings with the "rehab" here, personnel, etc. Then when reading it in preview mode I saw a typo, so I hit the back button on my browser to go back and correct it. Ooops. I guess I learned the hard way that's not the right way to do it. I guess it was a good venting session for me-lol.

Today I am going to try adding photos of some of my artwork. When I get that figured out I will try to figure out how to make a link from a photo blog to an art site. If anyone reads this and knows how to do it, I really, really appreciate any tutoring you can provide. Wish me luck! here goes....

So much to catch up on!

2009-06-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

I see it has been quite a while since I blogged and you wouldn't believe my life since then! I can hardly believe it myself, and I lived through it- or at least, survived it. I'll give the "thumbnails" now, and elaborate later as I "introspect" and try to make sense of it all. [ I invite feedback for any of my blogs, but especially encouragement or insight about these events.]

[1] Shortly after that last entry I sold my home.
[2] Now the process of that alone was harrowing as it involved taking mercy on a homeless Iraq war National Guard vet, an involved story that deserves more attention... but later, and bringing him in to live with me, and trying to help him bring his wife and step-son here from another state,while he in the meantime is suffering PTSD in a much bigger way than anyone else seems to realize. (Background: I put in 10 years myself, 4 Nat'l Guard, 6 yrs Army Reserves as a psych medic trained to identify and treat wartime stress- so I know of what I speak!)
[3] I financed the new homeowners myself, and used the small downpayment I got to purchase an R.V. (from Craig's list) with the intent of driving (for however long it would take, given my fibromayalgia) to Albuquerque where I planned to apply for low income housing and wait out the move-in date in the R.V. I didn't even get out of the driveway before it broke down. Now, I did my "due diligence" to the best of my ability under the circumstances, but I was down-right ripped off.
[4]Good thing I had also applied for housing in nearby Red Wing, mn, as a back-up plan, (and that is a story all its own) because the R.V. broke down 3 more times, and never made it out of the county. I lived in it broken down at the side of the rode and limped it to a campground, where we (me and my dog, Rizzo) stayed until the snow and cold made it impossible to stay in. I bought a new engine for the R.V. but then my mechanic got deathly ill and the weather too cold for him to work on it.
[5] For 2 more months I was homeless, sleeping from couch-to-couch (very bad for the ol' fibro), a short-but-too-long-time in a "friend's" guest room, and an occasional motel room,
until the housing in Red Wing had my opening. But wait!-ooops! - paperwork snafus and more delays.
[6] Also, during this time, I suffered numerous health problems which culminated in the diagnosis of a deadly, rarer-than-winning-the-lottery-thing called Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, which I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.
[7] Finally got into my apartment (with deep gratitude to those who helped me move) where I had strong need and high hopes for settling in for and while and recovering from all that stress, and getting bak to doing my art. But n-o-0-O-O-0-0-o, the place is undergoing renovation, or "rehab", and even though I have been here for- has it really been!?? - 5 whole months, I still have not been able to unpack everything, and even had to repack almost everything back up that I had unpacked. I'll talk more later about all the destruction/construction noise, and the crazy alcoholic downstairs neighbor, and other stressors in this place, when I elaborate in the future.

To summarize for now, I will say that the only reason I am still alive and relatively sane is by the grace of the Holy Triune God, and the strong faith They are the author of in me. I have absolute faith that there is a divine purpose in all that has happened and now my job is to figure it out!

Signing off for now, Later Gator ~~~z----z--"< ...... The Mixie Pixie

Thank God for nice neighbors!

2008-08-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

So I am finally feeling better after a couple days of being bedridden. Take it from me, fibromyalgia SUCKS! ~ big time. My hands have never hurt so bad as they did day before yesterday. I had white hot prickles so bad I could not even think about opening a medicine bottle, getting a drink of water, much less making my precious a.m. coffee, and I was in so much body pain that I couldn't get out of bed even if my hands weren't so dysfunctional. So called the neighbors who I have been getting to know, and asked for help. The husband, who happens to be a nurse/PCA type guy (I don't know exactly what) came over and opened my meds, brought me water, made coffee, asked if I needed anything to eat (-so thoughtful!-) and got my ice packs out of the freezer for my hands. Today I was still not well enough to drive to the pharmacy for my pain meds refill, so he drove over to get it for me. I am so very, very grateful. Now, I am the kind of person who easily does these kinds of things for others and then some and I don't think twice about it. To me it's just what you do. But I have learned there is a dearth of us in this world. My own family (7 siblings) has refused to lift a finger to help me, even though I have made some minor requests from the ones who live locally. And they never, ever, even once, called me to see how I am doing, much less offer help. It's not because we had a fight or falling out. That's just the way that they are - disconnected, and lacking in any compassion, or family values. I have belonged to several support groups over the years, and while I am glad for the meetings and what I learned from them, they were hardly willing/able to be of any help outside of the meeting room. I have a current Christian group of wonderful women which I attend when I can, but the group purpose is bible study, and I find that living out the Christian purpose is very challenging for them because we live in a culture that is so busy and demanding that it is difficult for anyone to find even an hour once per quarter to stop in and have coffee, chat, and pray. In fact, despite my repeated requests for anyone in the group to do so any time they can find for me, and I have said how much it would mean to me, no one has found any such time even once in the 5 years I have belonged to the group. Sooooo, to have been blessed with this wonderful caring family next to me touches my heart and my life deeply. I feel very blessed by them. They have each been taking turns mowing my (little) lawn for me, and always without being asked. I can't thank them enough, and I cannot pay them back. But I do acknowledge them and my gratitude, and I pray they will be blessed 100 times over in return.

blogging virgin

2008-08-11T23:50:00.000-07:00

I am new to this. How am I doing so far? My kids laugh at me for how technologically challenged I am. (They laugh at me for a lot of stuff, but not my jokes). They're teenagers, though, so it's to be expected. Maybe they'll learn something from the way I keep chipping away at it until I get it to work. At my age I have learned the wisdom of patience. I am even able to be patient with myself now. I hate a lot of stuff about this aging business ~ like how learning is not as easy as it used to be. My kids find it hard to believe, but I used to be a whiz. I hate that the neuropathways in my brain are now set in cement ~ or maybe it's sludge. But I still wouldn't go back for anything. What I've gained is far more valuable to me than what I've lost ~ mostly, myself! So, this isn't so hard. I talk to myself a lot, and this isn't so different from that (ha ha) except the words come out my fingertips instead of my mouth. My main reason for starting a blog is to support my art activities. I still have to figure out how to do that, the adding pictures, links, etc., but I will figure it out ... eventually.