Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Don't get me wrong, I know we need government. But this society has so deteriorated that anywhere you go in government it's corrupt - from the top to bottom. Everyone I have dealt with in any government position is 1) lazy- and will do as little as they can get away with, and 2) is on a power trip and will misuse their position in any way they can just to feel their sense of power. Now I have been in recovery plenty long enough to understand what that's all about, and I have opted for a more enlightened way of being. But I am disabled and therefore stuck in "the system" in a huge way, and there is no getting out of it, and I just can't stand living in it and getting screwed six ways 'til Sunday. Maybe I'll move to New Zealand. I have seriously contemplated suicide. It is still not out of the questioin. I have clung to my faith through everything so far and now I can barely hang on by a thread. I do not have a sense that my higher power is present or gives a shit about me. If you have faith then please pray for me.